- Do you think about food a good majority of the time?
Food addicts spend a great deal of time thinking about food. Sometimes this can be disguised in seemingly
"innocent" ways such as planning a meal with friends or writing a grocery shopping list.
Debbie says: Before I got into recovery, I could barely concentrate on anything for more than a few seconds.
I constantly thought about food. Sometimes I even spent hours flipping through cookbooks and looking at pictures of
food with the excuse of cooking dinner for friends.
- Sometimes do you feel driven to eat?
Food addicts often have overwhelming physical cravings for food though most aren't aware of the physical
nature of these cravings. Usually, food addicts are unable to stop themselves from eating food that they
think about. In other words, as soon as the thought enters a food addict's mind, the food is in his or her mouth.
Debbie says: I never even knew that what I was experiencing at the time was a physical craving.
I never called it that and I barely ever even stopped to think about what happened inside of my body before
I overate. The only thing I knew was that I had to have the food that I wanted at the minute that I wanted it
and nothing could stop me.
- Have you ever lied about how much you have eaten?
Generally, food addicts feel shame and guilt when they eat. After years of over- or under-eating,
food addicts are aware that their relationship with food is abnormal, even harmful, yet being powerless
to change their behaviors, food addicts make every effort to hide their eating patterns to give the
appearance of being healthy.
Debbie says: I used to sneak food into the house so that no one would know what I was eating and if someone
asked where a certain food had gone, I usually lied and said that I didn't know. The truth was that I had eaten
the food but I didn't want anyone to know. I felt so weak and ashamed that I couldn't control myself.
- As time has goes on, does your eating get worse?
Food addiction is a progressive disease that worsens over time. While in some cases this may mean that a food
addict eats more or less than before, it is possible that the amounts eaten may stay the same but the types of
food can become gradually more unhealthy as time goes on.
Debbie says: As time went on, I ate more and more until I was practically eating all day. I never had breakfast,
lunch, or dinner. Rather, I just ate constantly until I felt sick then I'd wait a few minutes and begin again.
- Do you either frequently weigh yourself or completely avoid stepping on the scale?
In many cases, food addicts have unrealistic body images, oftentimes convincing themselves that they aren't
as overweight or underweight as they really are.
Debbie says: Even though I weighed 328 pounds, I told myself that I wasn't that bad. I even convinced myself
that if I didn't tell anyone that I was overweight, then they didn't know.
- Do you ever feel out of control when eating?
Food addicts regularly experience periods of time when they cannot control their eating despite their best efforts.
Debbie says: Day after day I would wake up determined to start a diet yet before noon I would be eating things
that I didn't really want to. Even though I wanted to be thin more than anything else in the world, I couldn't stop
myself from overeating no matter how hard I tried.
- Has your body size ever affected your ability to participate in certain activities?
Generally, food addicts avoid activities where their bodies are made visible. Sometimes this may mean very
physical activities such as running or activities where special clothes are necessary such as swimming.
Debbie says: Even to this day, I am still shy about swimming. Over the course of my 12 years in recovery,
I can count on my hand the number of times I've been swimming. Before recovery, however, I would never have
gone swimming.
- When you have not eaten your favorite foods in a while, do you feel angry or depressed?
Because of the physical nature of food addiction, when a food addict doesn't eat sugar or flour,
he or she will experience withdrawal symptoms such as headaches, depression, and/or anxiety.
Debbie says: When I first stopped eating sugar and flour, I was shocked to find that I was experiencing
withdrawal symptoms. Mostly, I had a headache and was very tired but other people who I know actually felt
dizzy and had the shakes.
- Have you ever eaten before you went out for a meal so you did not eat a lot in front of others?
One of the symptoms of food addiction is shame. Since food addicts experience a great deal of shame from eating
foods they do not want, they generally avoid eating in front of other people. An exception to this, however,
is their bingeing buddy, a person who the food addict feels comfortable eating with.
Debbie says: In front of other people, I would only eat very small portions and only food that was considered
low calorie. I lived in constant fear that someone would comment on what I was eating so in order to prevent this,
I tried to pretend to be on a diet. When I was alone, however, I ate twice as much to make up for feeling deprived.
- Does it seem as if food is the only thing in your life that never lets you down?
For many food addicts, food is the most important thing in their lives, often taking the place of human
companionship.
Debbie says: For me, food was my best friend. I always thought that people would let me down so I
preferred to stay home alone with food. At the time, I didn't realize how much my life revolved around food
but now I know how sick that was.
